


Tell Me How You Really Feel.

by lizibabes



Series: Hurt/Comfort Bingo [16]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Sex, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-28 05:22:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizibabes/pseuds/lizibabes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the therapy prompt on my H/C Bingo card. Tommy and Adam can't stop bickering so the band sets it up for them to go to couples therapy, only they’re not a couple, not that anyone believes them when they say it and maybe everyone else is right. Could they have been dating for over a year without realising it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Me How You Really Feel.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: I_glitterz  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this story and as far as I’m aware this never happened.  
> I know very little about therapy, but this is meant as more a fluff/crack piece, its not an in depth fic about therapy

Adam POV  
　  
He knew they were arguing a lot, from near constant bickering to full blown augments. The tour hadn't started that way. One second they were best friends, the next, they were constantly down each other’s throats. He didn't know why, but he did know they couldn't be around each other without fighting. What he hadn't noticed was how it was affecting everyone else. If Adam was in the same room as Tommy, nobody else seemed willing to stay in the same room. They kept on separate tour buses whilst everyone else mingled between the two. They fought during sound check, they bitched at each other backstage, he hated it and it made the shows so awkward, having to fake chemistry that had been there naturally before. He hated it, but Adam had no idea how much the others hated it until Lane brought him his schedule for the day after breakfast and saw the block of time marked therapy.  
　  
"Why am I seeing a therapist today?" Adam asks, frowning at the piece of paper, as if a strong enough glare might force the letters of therapy to turn into interview or something else that he'd normally find on his schedule.  
　  
"The band is worried about you and I agree with them that something is up. This shit with you and Tommy is going to far. You can't be around each other, it’s effecting everyone. You need to get past whatever the hell has been going on before the fans start to notice," Lane's voice raises a little and Adam is really glad he had breakfast in his room today. Well, he had gone down to the hotel’s restaurant, but he'd seen Isaac and Tommy alone at a table. Both small men had been laughing and instead of going over, joining in as he once would have, Adam hadn't been able to bear the thought of going over to them, so he had left, hoping that no one had seen him. Maybe seeing a therapist wasn't such a crazy idea, he would have never run away and hid in his room like this before. He is an adult for Christ sake and that is in no way adult behaviour.  
　  
"Fine, I'll go. Even though I'm not the only one getting in fights," Adam mutters sourly.  
　  
"Oh, I know, that's why Tommy's seeing someone as well," Lane tells him brightly.  
　  
"He's agreed to see someone?" It makes Adam wonder. He knows Tommy doesn't think all that highly of therapy, so him agreeing without a fuss would be weird. It makes Adam wonder if maybe Tommy has some sort of problem with his temper. He thinks he would have noticed if it was alcohol or drugs. It makes him feel bad, but he sort of wants Tommy to have some sort of issue; that or the reason for them fighting all the time. Adam doesn't want to be to blame.  
　  
"Monte told him he had an appointment and that he would take his skinny butt to it." Lane shrugs.  
　  
"Oh." So maybe Tommy doesn't think he has a problem or that he needs help. Monte can be very convincing at times.  
　  
"Well, I have things to do. The car will be waiting." The ‘you had better be there’ is left unsaid, but Adam hears it loud and clear.  
　  
"Okay, I'll be there." Adam nods, he knows that everyone will keep pushing this until he goes, so he'll go. He might not talk one word to the therapist, but he'll go.  
　  
He eats his breakfast, changes his outfit a few times(what do you wear to meet a therapist anyway?), before he knows it he's left his room and is walking outside to the waiting car. It's on time of course and some one’s waiting to make sure he gets there. Lane is nothing if not efficient, he doesn't know what they would do without her. When he slips into the back seat of the car, he decides he might just have to learn how to get on without Lane, seen as he is probably going to kill her the next time he sees her. Already set in the car is none other than Tommy Joe Ratliff; his bassist, his former best friend and the reason why his band and management all think he needs therapy.  
　  
"Monte didn't say you'd be here," Tommy's tone suggests that he's probably calling Monte a fucker in his head. He won't call Monte that though, he respects him too much. Adam, however, won't be surprised if he does get called any bad name Tommy can think of before the car ride is over. They don't do well alone together, alone in the confines of a car? No way they’re getting through this without some sort of argument.  
　  
"Lane didn't tell me either." Adam will be giving her hell for that later, he doesn't care how awesome she is.  
　  
Tommy doesn't respond, he just slides on a huge pair of sun glasses that cover most of his face. Adam wants to point out that they’re in a car, one with tinted windows, but he knows Tommy, knows that the blonde puts on his sunglasses when he doesn't want to talk. Those glasses are Tommy's way of blocking him out. The fact that someone he was once so close to doesn't want to have to look at him or talk to him? Yeah, it hurts, even though he's mad at the other man for being such a shit to him all the time.  
　  
They drive in silence; it’s too awkward, feels almost unbearable. He gets his phone out, fiddles with Twitter, just to have something to do other than sit staring at the seat in front of him in silence, trying to keep glancing at Tommy. It's hard to keep his eyes straight ahead, almost impossible not to say something even though it'll probably start a fight. Right now, he thinks angry words might be better than nothing. He hates that every time something good, bad, vaguely interesting happens, his first instinct is to tell Tommy. Text, call or tweet if he's not at his side, and he's not there a lot more often these days.  
　  
It’s almost a relief when they stop at the office like building that has to be a shrinks office. It looks just like the bland buildings he has seen on TV. He hadn't expected much, so he's not sure why he's disappointed, till he realises that he is waiting for Tommy to make a joke about the building, about offices being enough to drive you mad, something, but there are no jokes, no nothing, haven't been any for a long time. The driver jumps out to make sure they find the right part of the building and Adam thinks probably to make sure they actually get there. He even signs them in with the secretary before abounding them in the waiting room with a promise to be back later.  
　  
Adam spends what feels like an eternity, but is at the maximum ten minutes, staring at a poster on the wall of a fluffy blonde kitten playing with a ball of wool. He starts to think maybe he does need to chat with a therapist when the fluffy blonde kittens fluffed up coat of fur starts reminding his of Tommy's bangs. He is cracking up. Luckily the door opens and a pretty middle aged blond woman steps out. She has kind dove grey eyes and whilst she is rocking the professional look, it’s not harsh looking. She has a pale blue sweater on under her suit jacket and for some reason, it makes her look less scary. She's just a normal middle aged woman, he's not sure why his brain had been conjuring up monsters.

"Adam and Tommy, I'm Dr, Jamerson and I'm ready to see you." The first thing he notices is she has a nice voice, soft but clear, he also notices her not calling out their surnames and is grateful for her discretion. Then he realises, she called out their names, both of them, to see her at the same time. Adam doesn't want to cause a fuss out in the waiting room, anyone could walk in, so he goes into the room, saving his WTF moment for once the door has closed. He notices Tommy looking confused as he follows him in.  
　  
"My manager booked this for us, but I think there has been some kind of mistake," Adam tells her as soon as she shuts the door behind them.  
　  
"I spoke with your manager and this is meant to be a joint session." Dr Jamerson gestures for them to sit down. Frowning, Adam takes a seat on the sofa opposite the doctor’s chair. There are no other seats so Tommy has to sit down next to him; the blonde keeps as much distance between them as he possibly can.  
　  
"Well, okay. With couples I always like to start with a joint session first, but I can see you both separately another time. But it's best if I see you together for are first chat," Dr Jamerson tells them sitting down and crossing her legs primly. Adam hears Tommy choke next to him and absently reaches out to pat his back.  
　  
"Now, I know there has been a mistake. We are not a couple," Adam snorts.  
　  
"Then why do you need couples counciling?" She raises an eyebrow at the hand he has on Tommy's back and Adam drops his arm like he has been burned.  
　  
"I have no idea why we got booked for this. Our problem might be with each other and maybe talking to someone together about it is a good idea, but we are not a couple." He couldn't be a couple with a straight guy, wouldn't really work all that well. What with Tommy liking boobs and him not having any, stuff like that.  
　  
"You admit there is some sort of problem?" Dr Jamerson asked.  
　  
"Yeah, we've been fighting," Adam shrugs.  
　  
"Enough for your friends to worry about the both of you?" she presses.  
　  
"I think we're just pissing them off. We fight all the time and it’s causing problems," Tommy says slouching down in his seat, he couldn't look more like he didn't want to be here if he tried.  
　  
"Well, lets start again. Couple or not. You've been fighting a lot. Just verbally?" The way she says couple makes it clear she thinks they’re not being honest and Adam would call her on it, but her question has him stunned.  
　  
"Yes, just verbal. Things are messed up at the moment, but we're friends, I'd never hit Tommy or fight him physically." Adam glances at Tommy, the blonde is feisty and hardly helpless, but Adam has picked him up and slung him over his shoulder before when they had been playing around. He knows he's stronger than Tommy, if they fought physically, he could really hurt Tommy. As much as the little shit gets under his skin lately, he would never want to hurt him.  
　  
"I know these questions are hard, but I need a clear picture of what has been going on before I can help. Tommy, do you ever feel intimidated, afraid, when arguing with Adam?" Dr Jamerson is watching Tommy as she asks her question, which is good. Adam isn't sure he wants her to see his mouth hanging open the way it is.  
　  
"What the fuck? Adam wouldn't hurt me, so I have no reason to be scared of him, even when we get in each other’s faces. This is such bullshit! No, I've never been intimidated by Adam that way," Tommy spits out angrily.  
　  
"See, we are already making progress. I've already seen that you, Adam are clearly horrified by the idea of hurting Tommy. And you, Tommy get angry and defend Adam when I suggested you thought he would. This suggests to me that hatred is not the base for your arguments, something else is. So why don't you tell me when they started?" Dr Jamerson smiles like she's somehow pleased by this crap.  
　  
"We were close friends and then one day it was like a switch flipped and we haven't stopped arguing since," Adam shrugs; he misses curling up on the sofa with his best friend. He misses all the easy casual affection. He hasn't hugged Tommy in so long, he can hardly even remember how the smaller man felt in his arms. He just knows he used to fit perfectly, that he was the best cuddler Adam had ever met.

A loud huffing noise comes from where Tommy is sat and it knocks Adam out of reminiscing, reminds him a little of how annoying the bassist can be, good hugger or not.  
　  
"I'm guessing you don't agree with how Adam described things." Dr Jamerson smiles; bitch. She is clearly on Tommy's side, which so isn't fair. Adam isn't lying, nothing happened, they just started fighting one day. Adam is so giving Lane hell for sending them to this shrink.  
　  
Tommy mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like, "No, I don't fucking agree."  
　  
"Well then, Tommy, can you tell me what changed? How you went from friends to constant fighting?" She asks.  
　  
"I don't want to talk about it," Tommy groans and what the hell? That makes it sound like Tommy thinks they had a reason that started the fights.  
　  
"Did you have a disagreement? Something that changed your friendship?" Dr Jamerson looks at them both this time.  
　  
"We didn't! One day you just started snapping at me and I was not in the mood to take your shit. And it’s just got worse and worse and I don't know why. We fight about stupid shit and I don't know why your mad at me. It was like you woke up one day hating me," Adam bursts out, talking to Tommy, because seriously? Fuck the doctor.  
　  
"Maybe I just woke up," Tommy snapped.  
　  
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Adam asks turning to face Tommy, hating the feel of Dr Jamerson's eyes watching them like they are some sort of interesting day time soap.  
　  
"I thought you were different! I was so star struck and in awe. You were this rockstar who was still down to earth, talented but it hadn't gone to your head. Nice to everyone and accepting, but you weren't everything I thought you were. And I got sick of you labelling me, thinking you know my own mind better than me!" Tommy hisses angrily.  
　  
"I don't have a fucking clue what your on about." They've bickered, they've argued, Tommy has been surly, stubborn and at times even rude, but he has never looked as angry as he does now, not in all those months and Adam just doesn't get it. He's been letting Tommy get at him, the blonde pushes his buttons and gets under his skin like nobody else and Adam thinks maybe he should have asked sooner why Tommy was doing it, instead of just getting pissed at his friend.  
　  
"Stop it, stop acting like you don't know why I might be mad at you. The show in Cali, the last one," Tommy spits out through gritted teeth.  
　  
Adam remembers the show, he remembers getting drunk, seeing Tommy, they had talked about something, then he had got a lot drunker. He'd been having trouble keeping his crush on his straight best friend under control, so he'd gone out and got laid. He'd found a guy who looked as much like Tommy as he could and brought him back to the bus. Tommy had seen them, he remembers that through the drunken haze, but they've both walked in on each other before. So maybe Tommy noticed the guy looked like him, tiny and blonde, maybe he realized what that meant. Shit, Tommy had realized Adam wanted to fuck him and he was mad at him. He probably though the kisses on stage were just a way for Adam to perv on him; the AMA's a set up. Tommy might be laid back when it came to sexuality, but feeling like you were being used or sexually harassed, of course he wouldn't be okay with that. No one would or should be. God, Adam hadn't had feelings for Tommy when they kissed, he was attracted sure, Tommy was his type, he hadn't fell till he'd really got to know the blonde though. With the way Tommy had been with him lately, so cold, Adam had easily pushed aside his feelings.  
　  
He covers his mouth groaning, fuck, this is all his fault. Dr. Jamerson was right to take Tommy's side. Adam has been an asshole to him when he didn't start it, Adam did.  
　  
"I'm sorry, I was drunk," Adam whispered.  
　  
"What? You were drunk, you told me I was drunk! That I didn't know what I was talking about and then you leave to fuck some twink," Tommy shouts.  
　  
"I get it, you’re mad. I slept with a guy who looked like you, because I wanted you and I was drunk, it seemed like a good idea. I swear though, I don't just kiss you on stage because I want to. I really do want to send a message, I'd never take advantage of you." Adam doesn't care that he's humiliating himself in front of the shrink and Tommy by talking about how he's got a pathetic crush on his straight friend. He needs Tommy to know he never planned any of it.  
　  
"What? You screwed him because you want me?" Tommy looks stunned.  
　  
"Yes, I thought that's why you were pissed at me." Shit he's put his foot in it this time. Tommy didn't know he wanted him and he's blurted it out, fuck.  
　  
"I came to you and told you I liked you. You told me I was drunk and straight. I kissed you and you told me I was drunk, confused, and straight. Then you left me, embarrassed as fuck for thinking you liked me, and when off and found some guy. I walked in on you fucking him after you knocked me back. All I could think was ‘why him and not me’ and then you avoided me like I had the plague or some shit," Tommy growls out, fury making his eyes look far darker than they normally do.  
　  
"I avoided you because I was embarrassed you'd seen me fucking a guy who could have been your body double. I didn't remember what we'd talked about. You told me you wanted me? Kissed me?" Adam cannot believe it, clearly this is some kind of cruel joke.  
　  
"Yeah, I did all that shit and you knocked me back," Tommy shrugs, his anger seems to have drained away, leaving him looking tired and sad.  
　  
"I was drunk, I guess I thought you were too. Tommy, whatever I said or did, I did it thinking it was the right thing. And then I went out and found someone I could pretend was you, because I want you. Hell, half the time when your being a dick to me, I still want to just pin you to a wall, and shut you up creatively," Adam admits.  
　  
"Oh," Tommy says softly and everything is too fucking quiet for a few long seconds before Tommy moves. He practically launches himself across the seat, crawling into Adam's lap for the wettest, most desperate kiss they have ever shared.

"Uh hum. I think you boys don't really need my help. Maybe you should go talk some more alone?" Dr Jamerson suggests. Looking over Tommy's shoulder, Adam would swear she was a little flushed.  
　  
"Great idea." Adam helps Tommy up and keeps a firm grip on his hand.  
　  
They have just over an hour before the car comes back to get them. They don't even talk about it, they just get a taxi back to the hotel, sneaking in and heading to Adam's room. He hangs the do-not-disturb sign, he doubts anyone will, it'll be a while before anyone realizes they're not at therapy and come looking for them.  
　  
They try to talk between kisses, between stripping each other’s clothes off. They don't manage to get too in depth. They both manage short apologies for their shitty behaviour over the past months. Adam tells Tommy he has more than a crush, wants more than one day in bed with him. Tommy just smiles back and tells him he's not leaving, he didn't run off when Adam was giving him shit each day, he won't do it now. For Adam, it's all he needs to know for now, it seems Tommy agrees as well. They end up naked in his bed. Adam has Tommy sprawled out and he's kneeling in between his thighs spread slutty wide, sucking the pre come that's leaking out of his slit, when the knocking starts.  
　  
"Adam, I know you’re in there. The driver told the receptionist to call when you left. I can not believe you ditched therapy. No one wants to put up with you and Tommy any more. You’re both impossible to work with, bickering the way you are!" Lane yells and she sounds really pissed. But Tommy is right there and Adam can taste him on his tongue. So he ignores Lane in favour of sucking Tommy all the way down, breathing through his nose as his throat flexes around rigid flesh.  
　  
The moan that Tommy lets out at his actions isn't in any way quiet or subtle. You couldn't mistake it for anything other than a moan of pleasure. Which is probably a good thing, considering if Lane heard and thought it was a noise made due to pain, she'd get someone to let her in his room, which really is not what he wants happening right now.  
　  
"You skipped therapy to get laid! Adam, how could you be so irresponsible, getting your dick sucked won't fix things with Tommy," Lane yells and Adam can't help chuckling a little, because he's not the one getting his dick sucked. Also this really is helping fix all that anger that had been between them.  
　  
Tommy groans when he laughs, the vibrations clearly doing interesting things. Adam ignores Lane, he knows it's rude, but he's missed out on months of doing this with Tommy, so he can't even think of stopping. Only Tommy does stop him, pushing him up and off.  
　  
"What's wrong?" Adam asks, maybe he's going too fast. Tommy's new to guys, he should slow down, they should talk. Even if his dick does hate those ideas.  
　  
"Fuck me, I want you to fuck me," Tommy begs and yeah, his dick likes Tommy's ideas way better.  
　  
He manages to find lube and a condom and block out Lane all at the same time. He knows she's getting madder though by the way Tommy keeps giggling on the bed. When Adam climbs on top of him, the giggling stops and the moaning is back. He loves Tommy's laugh, but he knows which sound he likes the best; the moans, the moans he's causing. Tommy takes his fingers with an ease that suggests he's had fingers up there before, which is possibly the hottest image he's ever had in his head, well second to the sight of Tommy underneath him, begging for more. When Tommy gasps out that he has a dildo, Adam has to bite into his shoulder to stop moaning loud enough for another room to complain about the noise. Even though they'll probably complain about Lane anyway, who has thankfully gone quiet. If it hurts Tommy to take him, he doesn't let it show, he's always demanding more, the pushiest sub Adam has ever had in his bed; he loves it. Loves Tommy clawing at him, cussing him out one second, then begging him the next.  
　  
When Adam feels like he's getting close, he reaches for Tommy's dick, pumping it to try and push the blonde over the edge. When Tommy cums, he literally screams out Adam’s name while spilling cum between them. The sight, sound, and feel of Tommy cumming is all too much for him. He can't hold back his own orgasm tearing through him, leaving him boneless and sated on top of Tommy. They lay together for a while before going for a joint shower, which seems to be more an excuse to have sex in a different room than get clean, but he's so not complaining. They help each other get dressed, stealing kisses and enjoying softer touches now that some of the urgency has passed. They leave the room hand in hand, to find Lane sitting opposite of his door. She looks beyond pissed off for all of a few seconds till she sees who Adam is with. The fact that they're holding hands and the way they look, a shower can't get rid of hickeys.  
　  
"Oh my God! Therapy went well then?" Lane asks.  
　  
"Very." Adam smirks; he can't even be bothered to bitch about not liking the doctor or the fact couples counselling had been sprung on them. It got them talking about the problem and at the end of the day, that's all that matters to him.  
　  
Lane makes a pretty speedy exit after that and Adam isn't at all surprised when all of the Glamily know by the time they join them for dinner. Adam had thought it might be weird or maybe hard dating Tommy. It’s not hard, the only thing that changes is they have a lot of sex. Everything else is just like it was before they argued. They talk all the time, talk about everything, they cuddle on the sofa watching movies, spend all their time together. Adam thinks maybe couples therapy wasn't such a bad choice after all, they might not have seen themselves as a couple, but they've been going out on dates for almost a year. Shopping trips, meals, he's treated Tommy like his boyfriend for a long time. Maybe they had been dating a year and not realized it. The therapy had just fixed there lack of sex life. It feels like they've been together forever any way. Tommy still manages to get under his skin in a way that nobody else can manage, only these days, he tends to use his ability to provoke a reaction very different from anger out of Adam. He really can't complain and he's learnt quickly that he has the same power over Tommy. The band still don't want to be alone in a room with them, not because they bicker. No, left anywhere that can be considered remotely private and with a flat surface the PDA tends to get a little out of hand. Adam would apologize and tone it down, but as Tommy points out, they were the ones who wanted them to stop fighting and go to therapy. Nowadays, the only time they’re at each other’s throats is when one of them is leaving a hickey.  
　  
The End.


End file.
